positive vibes March 12, 2008

Sending postive vibes out into the universe

I will get a nice generous offer

they will be flexible with me in terms of schedule & start date

I will find a lovely place I love in a great city with a great roommate(s) or the perfect place by myself

I will make new great friends to spend my free time and have fun nites in the city with

I will succeed in my new program and be even more motivated b/c more of my peers will be there

The change will be a great, positive experience for me!

you can do it! March 7, 2008

• I have a hard thing to do tomorrow. It will be hard for me to let my employer and friend know that I am looking elsewhere and may have found something. They’re going to freak out and I’m going to have to deal with the consequences. But I remind myself that I am an adult and can deal with the consequences. I am not a child and what I am doing is, for myself as an adult, an important step in my career. It will be hard b/c it will be shocking, but better from me than someone else, and it might be a load off. I’m going to try not to think about it before I do it. I just know I will phrase it as that I know it’s a bad time and I wouldn’t do this intentionally but this opportunity came up and I think it’s a good opportunity and so I have to consider it. Then I will tell him about the job I applied for and went through the interview process and the next step for them is calling you and I wanted to let you know before they call you.
• The way he takes it is his problem. I just need to remember that.
• I also need to remember that I am a big girl and, no matter the consequences, I can handle it!

cost-benefit analysis March 4, 2008

taking the new job

Benefits:

• better pay
• upward mobility
• more responsibility
• better job; more experience
• promotion – good for career
• get to try a different city
• get out of my rut here and try something different
• explore other marketing opps
• a new social scene

Costs

• leaving job – comfort zone
• possiblity of getting promoted here at some point
• leaving school friends
• leaving work friends
• finidng new apt
• moving costs
• breaking lease

not taking job

Benefits:

• can stay in my school program with friends here
• may get promoted here
• no hassle of apt-hunting, moving, transferring

Costs:

• may pass up good career opportunity
• may pass up a promotion that could better my career and may not happen here
• staying here in my misery for another how long?
• others phasing out – do I want to be here?
• continued depression
• continued job search
• getting stale with my life

my guy March 2, 2008

Looks

• tall and slender or slender/muscular
• blondeish-brown hair
• eye color doesn’t matter
• clean-cut all american yet has a cultured and artistic side, yet stil interested in sports and outdoor activities
• cute (did I need to say that?)

Personality:

• laid back/casual but still ambitious and goal-oriented
• he is successful in whatever career he has chosen or on the way to it, and has goals for himself
• funny. have to be able to have fun with him. life is too short.
• open & communicative
• affectionate

My guy to me:

• calms me down when I’m stressed
• makes me laugh when I need it
• doesn’t let me take life so seriously
• pushes me to try new things

Hobbies

• likes to be out and about
• keeps active – sports or gym
• Must like to travel

5 qualities he must have:

1. ability to have fun
2. ambitious & goal-oriented
3. likes to travel/try new things
4. values friends & family
5. sense of humor

5 things he must not have:

1. possessiveness/controlling
2. inability to communicate
3. laziness
4. stubborness
5. lying

in three years, I see myself… February 27, 2008

as a marketing manager for a unique, smaller, boutique company. I’ll work between 40-50 hours per week and not more. I’ll have lots of responsibility yet my job will not have a lot of stress. I will love my job. It will give me creative freedom. It’s casual attire. It’s a boutique agency – I may have started it by myself or with close friends. I love the people I work with.

I live in a lovely condo in a nice area with lots of trees, good shopping, gourmet grocery stores, good restaurants and parks. It’s an affluent area. My condo is warm and comfy with colors like red and brown. It has 2 stories, a fireplace, maybe a dog and cat, stainless steel appliances and his and her bathrooms.

My husband is a hottie and loves to cook. He’s tall, with short spikey blonde-brown hair. He’s smart but doesn’t act like he knows it. He’s sweet and thoughtful, but also a man’s man. We go to symphony concerts as well as baseball games; Europe as well as Vegas. He makes me laugh, and makes me smile. He is successful in his career but doesn’t let it control his life. He is close to his family but doesn’t let them control his life. He is generous and loving, and I never question where I stand. We do things with our friends, but doing things with each other is the best. We met in a unique way; no one has a story like ours. He loves my friends and family but sees me as a jewel among regular stones. He supports me fully and we are equals. We like to travel. We are both driven and ambitious but don’t ever forget how to have a good time. We are fit and healthy running, biking, and overall being active.

We may have a child, or be planning to have one in the future.

Oh the places you’ll go February 27, 2008

These are the places on my list to visit… which will be next?

• Prague
• Puerto Vallarta
• Costa Rica
• Argentina
• Australia
• New Zealand
• Phoenix
• Austin

What will be the next place?

let it roll February 26, 2008

I think I’ve come to a solution with my guy problem. Or, problems in general.

Just not to get upset about the little things. That’s really what gets me every time. If someone doesn’t call on time or when I want, or return a call or email…that’s always when I get upset. So, why not just blow it off and not get upset?

There’s nothing really wrong with either (or any) of my guy sitches. We’re on even playing field, there’s no relationship to be had, we’re basically casual. So, why worry? Why even worry about responding them? It’s going to be all about me and what works for me. Cuz don’t you think they think like that? They’re boys, meaning they’re selfish.

My impatience doesn’t work well for me in situations like this. So, my new solution is to not sweat the small stuff. Basically, let it roll off my back.

stay away February 25, 2008

Seriously. I just need to complain today to get it out of my system. I’m about ready to kill 2 people and they just happen to be related. One, of course, is the damn boy I have a crush on who I was just getting over and then emailed me last week. What a loser! I debated about emailing him back, finally did and no response. Whatever. I am ready to send him an email saying, what? you can send an email but you can’t respond to one?!

The second is my friend Bridezilla who can’t take time of her busy schedule to attend the baby shower of one of our closest friends (who by the way has attended every single event for this damn wedding). Nor can she attend my 30th birthday party. But do NOT tell me I need to come down for the wedding DAYS before hand, in my actual b-day to get my damn nails done for YOUR wedding.

 Selfish, much?! Either of you!?

be the girl i am February 17, 2008

• happy
• smiling
• fun-loving
• confident
• stylish
• ambitious
• goal-oriented
• sure of herself
• friendly
• funny
• charming
• sweet
• honest
• cool
• witty
• surprising

VD February 14, 2008

can stand for Valentine’s Day, as well as venereal disease. In some cases one is just as bad as the other. Ok, really I don’t want to be the bitter single person who hates the holiday. It’s really just another day. However, I will use this time to get my aggravation out about a boy-situation-turned bad.

So, as you may know, something weird happened a few months ago with a guy that it probably shouldn’t have (I say that because he is kind of like family- we’ve known each other long, but yet, we don’t know each other at all). Anyway, one drunken night over vacation when my friend and I went out with him and his friend, we ended up hooking up (just making out a little, everything PG rated!). And it was very disturbing to me, yet oddly enough I was turned on. (I think that’s what was disturbing.) So, that’s fine. It happened, we were wasted, I figured it was a one-time thing. Earlier that night we had exchanged email addresses for some reason (pre-cursor!?!) And during that two months we had exchanged a few emails.

It was my turn to email and I forgot to email back b/c so much was going on in my life. Then fast-forward 2 months when I see him again. I have a little too much champagne, and it happens AGAIN. Now, we both had some alcohol in our systems but we can’t blame that entirely. And this time it went a little south of PG-rated, if you know what I mean. So after that happens, I realize that I MUST like him, or at the very least like making out with him. Otherwise, why would I continue to do this?

(Also, here’s an interesting counterpoint – does this mean he likes me or likes making out with me? Or do guys just take what they can get?)

So, anyway. A week goes by and I can’t really stop thinking about him, so I figure, what the hell, I’ll email him (since it was technically my turn, anyway) so I emailed and he emailed back the same day sounding excited to hear from me. So, I waited a couple days then emailed again. No email. Now, I knew he had a lot going on and didn’t think twice about it. But then a week passed and then another and I never got a response.

 So, I kind of feel like I should be over it. I should be over it, right? Especially since we really won’t see each other for another 4 months. Part of me was hoping it wouldn’t be that long, but now… why should I go out of my way when he can’t even respond to an email?

Boys! They are so frustrating! Just another reason why it’s nice to be sans VD today.