Let me expand on that last post… I must have needed this second chance to be able to finally say good-bye to this relationship. I tend to second-guess my decisions, so I guess when I come up with the same decision, not once, but twice, I can finally trust myself and move on.
new years resolutions December 31, 2007
Ok, so I’ve realized I can’t move on until I get closure and that is the purpose of this post. Out with the old and in with the new. I need to get the old boys out of my mind and heart to make room for the new “one.” (that is because I only want one, “the one” and not many as I have wanted in the past.) Really, when I meet the right guy, he will be enough for me and I won’t have to have an array of exes at my hands to satisfy my needs. So, this email will say good-bye to:
Mr. X. We’ve been skirting around the issue of getting back together, but since you refuse to grab the bulls by the horns, or make any sort of gesture indicating that you actually DO want to get back together, and don’t just want the dessert; then I have to say good-bye. We’ll be friends. But we won’t be more. I have to leave that spot open for someone who is worth it and can TELL me he wants me.
Former LOML. Wow, you’re a tough one to get rid of. I’ve been carrying around the memory (with the hope) of you for the past 4 years – since we broke up. I thought you were the one, the love of my life, and I was so sure about it, until the day you weren’t. You can’t break my confidence and my trust like that and think you will ever get it back 100%. Sadly, that 100% was what made the relationship so strong. Also, you’ve been MIA for a year now, and so I can only expect that you are 1) married, 2) fighting the war overseas, or 3) for some reason do not want to contact me. Any of the above, I shouldn’t entertain the idea that you would be contacting me; and so, I cannot wait any longer and must say good-bye to you. It’s been a long time coming, so it’s not so sad for me, but I wish you the best and know that you’ll always have a little piece of my heart (though not all of it.)
Mr. Vegas Fling. You are also a toughie to get out of the mind. Because I only knew you for such a short period, and was so enamored of you, you had no flaws in my mind. In fact, all of your good qualities were magnified 10 fold and I’m sure I added some more on to that. While I’m sure you are a smart, handsome guy, I can’t attest to the fact that we are a good match, or that you meet my qualifications for boyfriend. One thing alone (distance) makes you unqualified, and so I need to quench the pipe dream that something more would ever happen between the two of us. I wish you a great life, and also wish that you think of me from time to time,but consider this my good-bye to you, good-bye to everything that I knew.
Ok. I think that’s it. That was cathartic but is going to take more strength than just this post. I’m going to have to work to NOT let these people invade my thoughts. Which I can do. Now, on to fresh meat and greener pastures…
